On presence
Over the past ten years of coaching leaders on their Personal Impact, I have been asked time and again, “How can I get presence?” – a confident, engaging delivery that demands attention whilst remaining utterly relaxed and smoothly professional – and, in the past, I have always coyly responded, “It’s not something I can give you, it comes from the work.”
But d’you know what…?
My experiences over the last few years have shown me that, whilst presence isn’t something I can magically bestow upon you – as if I was some manner of talking Wizard’s hat – it certainly is something I consistently help clients to discover.
Recently, I had the glorious good fortune to work with a gentleman who had been invited to give a TEDx talk. When we made contact he was already well underway and had some powerful, humorous and impactful ideas for his presentation. We worked diligently “from the ground up” exploring the script, crafting the rhetoric, and honing the edges. Once that was solid we moved onto delivery.
It’s worth mentioning here, that the gentleman in question – by his own volition – is used to speaking in front of groups, facilitating workshops and programmes of work, but this was an altogether very different animal and the idea of “speaking to” (as opposed to “enquiring with”) an audience was not the same.
As Actor or Director (and even when I was teaching), I am quick to point out that we are never in pure “broadcast” mode. It’s important to recognise the interaction with the audience is always bi-directional. Any presentation is, at its heart, a synchronous exchange of energies. We may well Express our material out into the void, yes… AND we simultaneously take back in (Engage) – in the case of a live audience, looking for non-verbal information, nodding heads, frowns, smiles, those oh-so-distracting jiggling knees etc. etc. They’re always telling us something. They’re always reciprocating our energy. They send energy to us. And we use our whole instrument to send our energy, our message, to them.
[Some of you are thinking: OK, that makes sense… But what if we’re online?
That’s a reasonable question. Well, in the case of a Zoom or Teams call you can still see your participants so the non-verbal feedback remains the same – even if they’re in small boxes.
And now some are thinking: Alright, but what if I’m giving a blank-screen webinar?
Ah, well now… (several lengthy paragraphs of well-evidenced response deleted) …if you’re planning one of those, why not drop me a line?]
People who’ve worked with me will remember me saying: Your energy introduces you before you even speak. It’s so true. And this is where the idea of presence comes from. Energy! From them. And crucially, from you.
Back in June, working with a group of senior leaders, I used the phrase “own your space” …a lot. It can be daunting standing up in front of your peers (in their case, this also meant standing in front of the board!) and a natural response to fear is to make ourselves small (NB: “fight or flight” is something of a misnomer. When adrenalin kicks our first response is to FREEZE). When we make ourselves small we’re not serving the message, the audience, or our own capacity to engage. Owning your space means not diminishing yourself – physically or vocally.
This isn’t just the province of public speakers in the business-world. Last year I found myself directing a group of singers who had never acted before and their instinctive response was to make themselves and their performances very small. I spent weeks coaching, reassuring and encouraging them, “The bigger you are, the better this will be.”
So it was with the gentleman working on his TEDx; I found myself inviting him to “be big,” to own his space. And, just as those reticent singers and apprehensive senior leaders had done, he too suddenly shifted.
It is a fascinating moment to observe. A moment of courage, daring and self-belief. It is the moment when the client, sitting in the open doorway, boldly pushes off out of the ‘plane and trusts the parachute – trusts all that preparation time, all those rewrites, revisions, all those rhetorical devices. And suddenly, there they are, standing powerfully, unapologetically; words embodied, in full ownership of voice, script, audience and space.
I’ve talked a lot about my idea of Leaders bending space. And that moment, right there, is one where you suddenly see gravity manifest. Where the presenter becomes present. Where the timid speaker acquires the much sought-after gravitas; acquires presence.
So, no. I can’t magically bestow presence upon you. But… I can certainly show you where to look for it.
If you enjoyed what you read here, I hope you’ll give it a like or a share so more people have the opportunity to read it too.
And if you’re interested in learning more about Leadership Presence either for your team or for yourself, please do drop me a line: larry@talikandco.net
